Thursday, 19 December 2013

Milky Foot: footopia is just an acid bath away




I've always had a Stepmother/Cinderella relationship with my feet. I considered them "working" appendages, existing only to do my bidding for little thanks and zero respect. Treat 'em mean keep 'em keen! As such, they didn't have to look glamourous or even "pretty". Cracks in my theory set in however... around the same time as cracks started appearing around my heels. Ugly stepsister feet be damned- it was time to rectify the situation!

I tried electric pedi-exfoliators, salves, creams, sweet talking. It helped... kind of... but I wanted to seal those cracks fast and return my old dogs back to beautiful puppies.

Chewing Gum for the Eyes- Milky Foot for the feet:



Late night tv and I have kind of bonded this year (a post for another time) and it's amazing how many advertisements for foot products happen near the crack of dawn. That's how I discovered Milky Foot. Peel your way to perfect footsies- yes please!

The packaging is a little disturbing- baby feet? It's an exfoliator not a time machine- but I suppose it's meant to be metaphorical. I'm keen to get started!


Gettin' the Skinny On the Exfoliator: 


They give the exfoliating agent a nice, fuzzy name on the packaging. If you check out the actual ingredients, it's a concoction of acids: lactic this, glycolic that. Beauty is pain, no pain no gain etcetera, so I wasn't deterred. I mean, it's not going to contain magical pixie dust right? Something heavy duty is going to have to slew off that fugly foot facade and we all knew it wasn't going to be pretty. Cutting open the tops of the plastic "socks", I find the contents have a faintly 'burn-your-nostrils' aroma. It's not that bad though. Dipping my feet into those plastic booties makes me think of mafia hit men disposing of bodies in baths of acid. Okay okay, so it's not as extreme as that, but the theory is much the same. I'm about to "melt away" the ugly exterior of my tired dogs to reveal the venus de milo within.

There's a very mild tingling at first then pretty much nothing. Flash forward to an hour long soak, boot removal and the warm rinse. My soles look slightly swollen, feel slightly sunburned (acid soak people!) and look alien smooth, but there's no drastic change. This isn't a 'quick fix' solution. Clearly the best- and the worst- is yet to come...

Day One:


Seeing no change, I scratch at the foot for signs of peeling. My dogs growl in warning. They're tender and in no mood to roughhouse. I know it's best to let sleeping hounds lie.

The instructions do emphasise you shouldn't try to pull and pluck at the peeling skin- let alone attack it with a pumice stone- which I read one reviewer did even before the skin had started peeling. I consider her either very brave or very foolish- yeah, she's the latter methinks. Seriously, is she masochistic? Who drags jagged cement over acid traumatised skin?

The instructions do say it will take 3 days after using for skin to peel. I moisturise my feet and go about my day.

Day Two:


There's a suspicious crinkled look to the heel and sole area but nothing else. I'm getting a little Veruca Salt about the peeling. Oh well, it did say 3 days...



Day 3

The baby feet picture on the packaging couldn't be further from the truth. If I flex my foot, there's crinkles ahoy. Can heels have crow's feet?

I'm still waiting for the peeling. I'd signed up for disgusting, medical-freak-show skin shedding. Looks like my feet are going to be late bloomers. In an age of instant gratification, Milky Foot is bucking the trend...

Day 4


The tiniest bit of peeling beneath the one toe. Paranoia is setting in. Could Milky Foot be nothing more than a classic case of this?


Day 5


So this happened:

I hope you appreciate the gentle, non offensive visual metaphor for major underfoot peeling.

I've read a lot of other M/F users complain at how offensive, itchy or disgusting this part of the process was. I have to say, either they exaggerated, or a bit "princessy" (you know the kinds of people I mean- they squeal at the sight of a moth or think that exploring the outdoors is "icky"). 

Pretty much once the patches of peeling appeared, some repeated foot soaking in very warm water, followed by some massaging, removed about 90% of the evidence. 

Here's some things others wrote about their M/F experience that again, I am putting down to "princess" syndrome:

You can walk around in flip flops without fear of looking foot fugly or dropping skin- it's a peel- not leprosy. 

Peeling doesn't linger. Someone said their feet peeled for an entire month- which I find just so improbable. Even harsh facial peels don't do that.

Annoyingly, I'd booked a voucher for a beauty treatment on this day- which included a foot spa. I had to 'fess up to the lovely beautician about my "condition"- so no spa treatment. She was very excited to learn more about Milky Foot. She said she'd been looking for a product that did this and even made me write the name and purchase locations down. 

I've still got some peeling along the sides to go. Does my foot look "milky"? Well, the skin looks pale and new but I haven't time machined my way back to pristine feet.


The Verdict:


I'm happy with the results, and will do this again in a few month's time.

Googling pictures of Milky Foot exemplars is at best, discouraging, and at worst, downright vomit inducing. All you need to know is that it works, but it's not a forever cure. I've read people who've companied they have to repeat it every few months. Hmm. We shave, wax, pluck, scrub and dollop parts of our body daily- all the while knowing that irksome hair, skin or blemish will return eventually. We don't toss aside the tweezers or point accusingly at our razors. Beauty- like fitness and the latest cool slang- requires constant upkeep and monitoring. The prince of silky this and hairless that is eternal vigilance.











Tuesday, 17 December 2013

A Cupboard Full of Food and Nothing to Eat (time to try some strange)

This post is for people like me who enjoy discovering hidden (and not so hidden) tasties at the super market. I want to make it clear- this isn't an advertisement (I detest advertorials the way a fat kid loves Sara-Lee cake- *badum tish*). These are just some items I discovered in my never ending quest for untried yummies and newfound scrummies. Unfortunately, this means I will have to mention brands and stores- regrettable but necessary!

In No Particular Order:

1. Cadbury Freddo Frog Chocolate Biscuits.




Don't let his 'Jabba-the-Hutt' face fool you- Freddo is delicious-so! Please note the chocolate coated back which allows for limitless methods of eating this Star Wars wannabe. I'll leave it up to your foodie-depraved imaginations ;)

God, these are yummy! In fact, on the 7th day, when God rested, I'm certain he celebrated his accomplishment (i.e. making the world) by kicking back with a pack of these. Sacrelicious. They're very cocoa-ey, with a slightly crumbly centre. You can say you're buying them for the kids- but we both know better. Note: don't waste your time with the Vanilla flavour- they're the meh ying to chocolate's delectable yang. Can be found at all good supermarkets- and possibly even the bad ones.

2. McVities Digestive Biscuits.




Un-fancy name for a very fancy biscuit. This is the kind of biscuit you whip out of your cupboard when trying to impress. Comes in two varieties: chocolate or dark chocolate- both are extremely more-ish. The biscuit bottom is crumbly, slightly coarse and, in a genius pairing not seen since the likes of Lennon/McCartney, supported by a smooth 'chocolate tasting' coating (as opposed to the fatty sugary taste some biscuits can have). In short, it's mouthwatering. If you haven't tried this biscuit then you have been wasting oxygen up til now. By a pack because- YOLO! #ubiquitous acronyms

3. Woolworths Select Homestyle Country Style Lamb and Barley Soup



Time saving. Healthy. But more importantly, filling and soooo tasty! The lamb portions are plentiful, melt-in-your-mouth and don't taste chemically or flavourless. Every mouthful is a treat. It contains a good selection of veggies and is a convenient lunch option for we time-poor plebs. It has a "stew" like quality. Even the recent hot weather hasn't deterred me from consuming this gem. There are other soups in this range- of note are the 'Minestrone' and the 'Malaysian Laksa'- but this is the stand out. It's just nice to find a "fresh" soup that has flavour and a "homemade" quality to it. Reasonable price too. Can the canned soups and give this one a try. #lazylunch

4. Lindt/ Lindor Peanut Butter Balls





The older I get the more intolerant I am of people who misguidedly "rave" about other confectionary brands that make peanut butter filled chocolates. They're too sugary and queasy inducing. Let's face it, anything from the house of Lindt is worth a try, but these bad boys (well they are balls after all) are king. The chocolate is smooth, not too sweet and melts as easily as a One Direction fan. The peanut butter is thick, slightly salty and blissfully compliments the smooth milk chocolate. If you're not careful, you'll polish off the entire bag before you can say "Jenny Craig". Be warned, consumption can lead to a lifelong addiction. You can buy these at Coles or Woolworths (and most probably other supermarkets too) in the confectionary aisle- assuming they haven't sold out- which frequently (and frustratingly)- occurs. Long live the king!

5. Sunbites Airpopped Popcorn- Sour Cream and Chives



'Nuff said really. They don't have the greasy, remorse-inducing aftertaste of traditional popcorn. I can't stuff my face fast enough. The popcorn is intermittently crisp and soft and the flavour isn't overpowering. Actually, I had to ban myself from buying this because even when buying the "small packs of six" option, I was polishing them off in one sitting. Sunbites sells a plain salted version too- but life's too short for plain.  Sold in the chips/snacks section of supermarkets. 

6. Kopparberg Elderflower and Lime Premium Cider (Adults Only)




Obviously NOT suitable for anyone under 18 years of age, but so worth mentioning here. I don't know why everyone bangs on about how wonderful Rekorderlig ciders are. Personally, I find them overly sugary. Kopparberg 'Elderflower and Lime' Cider is not too sweet, and has a delicate and very palate pleasing flavour. Christmas is upon us and soon you'll be asked to make a choice- a choice of beverage. Consider this little known gem when perusing the liquor stores. 

7. Woolworths Gold Belgian Cake Chocolate 1kg



Is it acceptable to profane about a cake? In this instance I think so. This chocolate cake is so $@#**& gorgeous that my mouth is watering just looking at the picture. There is so much to love about this cake. It's moist, dense, and intensely chocolately. Take it out of the packet and place it on a platter and guests will think you've forked out a lot of $$$ at some upmarket patisserie. The outside ganache is "protected" by a crispy chocolate netting. It has a crumbly chocolate meringue base that you'll be subtly angling your knife to get a bigger chunk of when cutting yourself a slice. A truly masterful feat of dessert engineering. Ditch the banality of a certain cheesy cakey franchise and give this one a try! Your tastebuds- but definitely not your waistline- will love you for it.

8. Connoisseur Sumatran Coconut Ice cream bar




Yeah yeah, it's been well established how delicious the Connoisseur ice-cream range is... but in a health-conscious age, you can't be expected to try the entire range, right? #aintnobodygottimeforthat I'm assuming you nodded (whilst slyly wiping a smear of cafe grande from your chin). If you love coconut, you'll love this. Refreshing, creamy and with a distinctly "tropical get away" vibe, it's a perfect accompaniment to summer. 

9. King Oscar Double Layer Tinned Sardines (in extra virgin olive oi                

Don't you dare sniff derisively at these fishy friends! You wanted to sample something different didn't you? Packed FULL of all the good things you're meant to eat, this is a much maligned powerhouse food. It contains lots of really, really good things for you: selenium, calcium, iron, omega 3 and more! In order to get the full benefits of this delicious morsel, it has to be nestled in extra virgin olive oil or tomato sauce only. Believe it or not, it's actually incredibly tasty- I especially like it on toast or toasted sandwiches- but I'll eat it straight from the can too. Serving suggestions:

  • On toast: Avocado, onion, fresh tomato and salt and pepper to taste (ballsy optionals: finely chopped garlic to taste-if like me you love the stinky little stuff, some lemon juice, jalepinos).
  • In a sandwich: all the ingredients mentioned above plus other things such as grated carrot, your favourite lettuce, sundried tomatoes and favourite cheese, beetroot. 
  • Added to your favourite salad.

It's an environmentally sustainable ocean food too- so eat up! Seriously, if you're going to try one thing from this list, be kind to your body and give this a go. #you'vejustbeengloveslapped

10. Sirena Canned Tuna




Made in Italy, there's a reason why that mermaid looks so slim and sexy- she dines on this stuff! I can't fathom why people by any other brand of tuna but this one. Never mushy or grey or unpleasantly "fishy", it flakes beautifully. While I prefer to get the tuna in spring water variety- all of them are fabulous. Italians can be relied upon to serve up delectable grub- and this tinned offering is no exception. 

11. Chilliz Chicken Curry Paste 



This requires a cheeky visit to an Asian specialty store. Maybe you’ve gone into one previously only to be overwhelmed by the choices and absence of ingredients scribed in English? Perhaps that is a post for another time, right now I want to extoll the deliciousness of this range of curry bases.

A most excellent friend of mine recommended this range to me. She’s Singaporean so you know she knows her flavours. Her mother is undoubtedly the finest cook I have ever known. Growing up, I craved her curries. She doesn’t make them anymore, not from scratch. She says why should she go to all that effort when Chilliz curry pastes taste pretty close to what she made?

I know “master chefs” and famous foodies are ubiquitously flogging their own range of pastes, but why would you go for mainstream fare when this range is the choice of true flavour experts?

There’s a paste to compliment every type of meat: chicken, seafood, fish, meat- and even a vegetarian option- so they’ve got all their bases covered. My recommendation is to add paste to your curry to taste (I’d do this with the coconut cream too). Adding fresh herbs like basil, lemongrass, and coriander as well as freshly chopped ginger, garlic is a must! My personal preference is to add tablespoon of the ‘dry’ and the ‘chicken’ curry pastes. Buy a few and play around with the flavours. They’re inexpensive and completely authentic. No preservatives, no msg- just packed with flavours.

I have seen them sold in independent grocery stalls, but they usually stock a limited range.

12. Coles Finest Walnut, Date & Italian Orange biscuits


Mamma Mia! A cake-like buttery biscuit that lives up to the cliché ‘there’s a party in my mouth and everyone’s invited.’ dates, candied orange pieces, walnuts and spices- working together to bring you deliciousness in every bite. If you can manage not to scarf the lot in one go, you can easily store them long term in the freezer. Yum!

13. Woolworth’s Select Indian Inspired Chicken Tikka Masala with Rice


You know when you buy a frozen curry only to think, “Hmm, it’s okay, but it’s pretty mild”? Well this range does not shy away from the heat factor. In fact, as a someone who likes a peppy kick in her curries, I find these contain too much heat. Instead of focussing on the flavour, all you're tasting is heat. A shame really, because otherwise the whole range would be divine. So I’m only recommending the Chicken Tikka Masla. It’s still hot (referred to on the packaging as “a hint of spice”), but not so much that it completely overwhelms the flavour. It leaves a sizzle on your tongue and lips but doesn’t have you gagging for water. However, if you’ve chilli/curry intolerance, I wouldn’t recommend this. Pros: good flavour, basmati rice firm, not gluggy or ‘too soft’. Cons: too much ‘gravy’, chicken ever so slightly chewy. Would benefit from a more generous serve of (tender) chicken, but at $4 a pop it’s excellent for the price. Handy to keep in the freezer for those lazy cooking days. Package says ready in 8 ½ minutes but I find 6 minutes in the microwave is enough.

14. San Churros Cubitos


*Sigh* There was a time when San Churros served one of these with every hot beverage. They used the old Jedi mind trick on we weak-minded fools; got us addicted then took them away… but you can still buy them in cute little sky blue “cube” boxes in their cafes. A nice, lush small chocolate truffle that you can enjoy with hot beverages- or alone, with company- or alone, with- well you get the idea. #curseyouspanishdeliciousness

15. Woolworths Select Italian Inspired Beef Lasagne




I’ve tried other “name” brands that were 2-3 dollars more than this one and was severely disappointed. The pasta layers are on par with other brands- a little gluggy but still good- but what makes this lasagne is the sauce; it’s both beefy and tomatoey- not that canned tasting, overly salted, yet inexplicably sweet tomato sauce other “name” brands contain. Savoury, not sweet- the way a lasagne should taste (take note other brands). The béchamel sauce is reasonable thick- not runny like other brands I’ve tried. The sprinkling of herbs adds to the flavour. A fast, satisfying feed. 

16. Double ‘D’ Mint Chews- Sugar Free



Zero sugar healthier sweets. Teeth friendly. All excellent selling points, but I love these because of their strong peppermint taste. Oddly enough, the mints were quite solid in the first packets I bought. The recent ones have been soft and gooey. Still delicious- and guilt free apparently- #winning! Found in the supermarket confectionary aisle.

 17. Darrell Lea Liquorice Choc Stix- Strawberry Flavour with White Chocolate



A chewy liquorice exterior- tastes a bit like a fruit rollup- and a hard white chocolate filling. Try to stop at one- I couldn’t. Found in the supermarket confectionary aisle.

18. Mundella Greek Yoghurt Blueberry Blitz/ Little Greek Ones









                                   






Thick and creamy with a swirl of blueberry syrup, this yummy yoghurt transports you to a better place. It’s a day spa for your tastebuds. Tastes wonderful served with fruit salad or on its own. There’s always at least one tub of this in my fridge. I also recommend the ‘Little Greek Ones’ six packs which contain a selection of flavours. Locate them in the dairy section of the supermarket and start your lifelong obsession!

19. Robert Timms Royal Special Coffee Bags



Okay okay, so everyone has a coffee machine these days. They're so sophisticated they even wash the cup for you once you're done with it. But these coffee bags are a nice, quick alternative when you can't be bothered playing barista. Strong flavour without the 'toxic' aftertaste a lot of "at home" coffees or even the some coffee machine blends can have. Take it away with you on camping trips and add a touch of much needed civilisation to slumming it. 

20. Dilmah Extra Strength Tea Bags




I think the description on the packet says it best, “finely balanced richness, flavour, strength and aroma for the perfect cup of tea.” That ain’t false advertising. #dotryit

21. Saxby’s Diet Ginger Beer



Interestingly, the diet beer is superior to the full sugar version. Not too fizzy, too gingery or too sugary. Refreshing and tasty! 

22. The Berry Farm Nashi Pear Sparkling Wine (Adults only)


 

I probably need to make a separate post for The Berry Farm alcoholic drinks- they’re all winners. This particular drink is sweet, a touch dry and can be enjoyed with a curry, cake- well pretty much anything. The Berry Farm Strawberry Sparkling Wine is also worth a try. You can order these via The Berry Farm website- or purchase some straight from their winery in Margret River. However if you don’t fancy taking a road trip, you can also buy these from the David Jones Gourmet Food’s Liquor section.

23. The Berry Farm Limoncello Liqueur. (Adults only)




A lemony liqueur- nuff said! Enjoy with ice or on icecream. Can be purchased via The Berry Farm website or from the David Jones Gourmet Food’s Liquor section. 

24. Bulla Mini Splits





Refreshing- and in tiny portions that mean you can have more than one and console yourself with, "Well they're only minis!" 

25. T2 ‘Just Peppermint’ Tea




There’s a secret society of those who “know” about this magical brew, and those who still waste their time on brands flogging watery abominations of peppermint tea. Once you buy T2 ‘Just Peppermint’, you’ll smirk at those who drink anything else purporting to be peppermint tea. It is packed full of peppermint flavour. You can use the bags twice it’s that potent. Add a dollop of honey to the cup and experience real flavour.  Your tastebuds will love you for it.

26. Baker's Oven Raspberry Lamingtons- 6 Pack




Excuse the incorrect photograph (no, I am not colour blind) but this is the best I could find for now. Right brand- just not the right colour. I buy these from IGA. What can I say but moist, moist, moist. Everything a lamington should be and inexpensive. A definite favourite from this list.

So go, you indecisive shoppers and try something new...


Hopefully I can add some "healthier" items to balance out the sweeties (no promises though!). In the meantime, I'd love to hear back from you. Share your "hidden gem foods" or if you tried any of my suggestions, let me know what you thought- I'll happily accept the good, the bad and yes, even the ugly feedback.

Stay curious about the world xx

Monday, 16 December 2013

Insane in the Blocked Drain (or how I learned to stop worrying and unblock my shower drain)





I love showers. That 'ahh' moment when you step inside. It's like embracing an old friend. I'm not so much a fan of the shower drain. Demanding. Ugly. It requires constant upkeep. Digging around scooping up hair, scunge and other nasties is a necessary evil of the blessed shower routine.

Once in awhile, however, things can escalate quickly. Suddenly you're finding yourself standing in ankle deep water. The sanctuary is polluted and it's time to act fast before the drains get more clogged than traffic outside a Justin Beiber concert.

Procrastinating me, I ignored the telltale warning signs: ankle deep water, slow draining, until I had a complete blockage. I couldn't turn the shower or basin on without water bubbling up from the floor drain.

Here are some things I found effective in my quest to avoid the costs of a plumber and retain my sense of single female empowerment:


  • A wire coat hanger. 
  • A bottle of 'Drain Clean' (I bought the liquid one specifically formulated for grease and hair blockages), purchased from Bunnings.
  • My trusty kettle.

A Friendly Heads Up: You'll want gloves and something to dispose the "haul" into once it's freed. Safety first, people!

Method:


1: I straightened the coat hanger but left the hook. Then I inserted it into the shower drain (hook end down) and slowy fed it down the pipe as far as I could get it. I pulled it back up slowly and managed to land a disgusting mound of hair, moisturiser/soap residue. This took a few goes. #hairfishing


2: I poured the drain clean liquid down the shower drain, plus some down the sink and floor drains. The bottle stresses to follow instructions carefully. (I read this after not taking that very sage advice and using the entire 2 litres in one go- yipes!). 


3. After waiting an hour, I boiled the kettle and slowly poured the boiling water down the shower drain, the basin drain and a little down the floor drain. I could see the dislodged pockets of scum release into the floor drain. Satisfying and disgusting- #winning.


4. I repeated step 3, pouring boiling water slowly down the bathroom drain at 5-10 minute intervals. I did this 3-4 times (I'm nothing if not persistent and impatient).


It worked! Roughly 2 hours later, I noticed the water levels had lowered. Emboldened, I chanced turning on the shower. There was a bit of gurgling, one long blessed sucking sound and woosh- no more blockage! Man, I was relieved! No plumber, minimal expense and I could resume my daily ritualistic cleansing free of worry. I would've kissed that liquid drain clean- had I not known the caustic soda would've burned my lips off. #chemicalpeeltodiefor

Disclaimers and general pleading ignorance:


These tips are really for those who've managed to stuff their drains through inadvertently feeding them a steady diet of hair, shampoo/soap and moisturiser/makeup runoff. I live in an apartment, no septic tank, so you should factor in those things when deciding to try my suggestions. I'm no expert. I spent hours reading threads and watching youtube clips trying to get "good" advice. I discovered that those "help threads" are ironically named. For every success story of a "fool proof method", there were as many failures. In the end, I just solved it myself.


Stay curious about the world xx



Useful links: http://drainclean.com.au/drain-clean-solution/?iq=bs